Friday, December 30, 2011

New 2012 Year's Resolutions

New Year's Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importanly, forward to the coming year. It's time to reflect on the changes we want to make and resolve to follow through on those changes.
In Russia it is not that popular to make a list of New Year's resolutions, but always has been popular to make a wish when the clock beats 12am.
So I do not really remember making a real commitment to myself for the new upcoming year.
Though I think last year I told myself that I will manage to give up smoking. And, voila.. here am i, Polina, that has not been smoking for 5 months already!
I believe that it is important to make New Year resolutions and follow them, and even if it does not work out this year, you might as well try to get on with them the next year. But this way you you have commitment to yourself. All people are different in all the ways. But I always need to have aims. So I am used to giving myself different aims and goals and work hard towards reaching them. And I love that feeling, when you can tell yourself: 'Yes, I did it! ' . So that does work for me really well. And I am sure for many other people as well. That is how you become a strong person, isn't it?
Strong person is the person who can overcome himself. And I am sure, I know it is really important to be able to overcome yourself in this life. It is really vital to be able to do what you do not like to do, to do what others are not doing, because that way you can be sure that you will become someone that no one else will be.

It is time to make New Year's resolutions and time to say goodbye to 2011..
Feels sad really. Because I might as well add that this year had been one of the best years in my life, except some major failures, it still counting as the best and very memorable year.
This year I had come to many new conclusions and decisions.
This year I've understood how important it is to have the person you can tell everything. The person that is always by your side, friend, without whom you feel completely lost.. and it is very sad that I've found this person and had to say goodbye to her.. Because we have different ways in life, but we have hope that sometimes and very soon our ways will cross again, and we will just sit and talk for days and days, and then go out and get completely wasted, just like we used to do the whole 2011.
But it it time for changes as well ae. Especially for bad things, which have to go away, because otherwise I will become an alcoholic.. and I can't afford that,because I have a huge plans for my future.
And I better get on with them!
Maybe that is why life an interesting thing,because sometimes it can get so unpredictable that you can't control it.

Anyway, that is the list of my new year resolutions and I know every one of them will be done. Just because I am that person.. if I say that I will do something, I always know for sure that it will be done.Because I never lie to myself. And I hate lies in general. So here we go.

New Years Resolutions for 2012

1. DRINK LESS ALCOHOL,FAR LESS

2. VISIT SINGAPORE

3. CONTINUE BEING A GYM JUNKIE

4. BE MORE KIND. AND STOP MAKING THAT 'I HATE EVERYONE' FACE.

5.  VISIT RUSSIA IN JULY AND MAKE THE MOST OF IT.

6. TRY TO GO ON A THAILAND BOAT TRIP IN APRIL WITH MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE FROM SINGAPORE

Hope all of your dreams come true people.
Happy New Year to you all!! xox


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Wanna be in Singapore right now
that is all i can think about since i came back from singapore..

Wanna walk on the Orchard Road and breath Singaporean hot freash air..
Want to have that feeling again..




Thursday, December 15, 2011

Broker

After this trip to Singapore everything became even more complicated than it ever was.
New emotions, new people, new places.. And everything just turned upside down.
I love New Zealand with all my heart.. I was always saying that it is the best country in the whole world. In some kind of way I still love it, but not the same way anymore. Things, that all people would count as a pluses, I count as minuses-and I can't change that.
I looked at things in a new way during this trip.. I saw new opportunities. I saw the world I always wanted to be a part of. And I I have no idea how could I fall in love with New Zealand, considering that it's really the opposite of what I was always dreaming about. Maybe I was just young and I was not thinking of important things.
I saw Singapore and fell in love with it from the first moment.. High skycrapers, highly educated people ( not considering the chinese population of singapore of course). It is a country of huge opportunities..
I saw the exact opposite of Kiwi people, you know.
People in Singapore are a career people. They go crazy about their work. That's what I always wanted for myself.
I do not want to become a person who would only care about beers and rugby. I do not want to communicate with people who are exact opposites of me. People in New Zealand are lovely, no doubts. But I am not them and will never be, even I would really try to be like them-I would not be able them.
I could see myself in Singapore. I like their style of a crazy and completely busy life. That's what my life should be like.. unfortunately I am a depression-person most of the time, and New Zealand made me even more angry and depressive person in those three years.. this quiet and calm life is making me a person I do not want to be.
I need a place where I know I can show my full potential. Singapore seems to be that place.
I am 100% sure that I would feel comfortable there. Because most of the people there are living a life I've been dreaming about since my chilhood. And New Zealand which I met on my way there kind of prevented me form living my dream.And I want to hope and believe that this is just a very short stop.
That all the best things are still there and that I am gonna reach them very soon.

I hope that Im gonna move to Singapore soon as I get some qualifications and well...  Im gonna live my dream...

I am very thankful to all the people I met there in those 7 days. Those people helped me to understand what I really want. They reminded me of my dream. They reminded me of the dream that I forgot about long time ago and lost somewhere on my way... I love you guys... You the best... I love you for what I will become soon..


Carl, Daryll,Nick,Ibn,Gulnura... miss you so much,guys! Y r the inspiration!

Life is too short.. BROKER







Saturday, December 3, 2011

Friday, December 2, 2011

страшно жить..

Многие мужчины пытались меня сломать, но вместо этого они ломали собственные зубы. Не скрываю, что с некоторыми из них я уже готова была потерять контроль над собой. Тогда я моментально брала себя в руки и понимала, что нужно остановится. И не всегда это получалось.
Я такая сильная и одновременно такая слабая. Я слишком холодная, с дурным характером, но если меня хорошенько разозлить, то я могу быть горячей и импульсивной. Я умею плакать, ненавидеть, сжимать кулаки. А еще мне почему-то страшно жить... Во мне стало слишком много цинизма и равнодушия. Я отвыкла от всего настоящего. Иногда мне кажется, что я уже никогда не смогу дышать полной грудью, как раньше.
Я знаю, что не бывает принцев на белых конях. Не бывает замков из хрусталя. Не бывает вечного лета, и нет страны счастья. А еще я знаю, что в душе мы все одиноки.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Глобальные перемены, это когда твои самые близкие тебя покидают. глобальные перемены это когда при песни 'motivation' ты не мечтаешь о ближайшей пятнице и не представляешь свое тело извивающееся на танцполе и beat диджея. Перемены, это когда ты знаешь, что моменты которые ты пережил с одним человеком, от которых замирало дыхание и сбивался ритм сердца, ты уже не переживешь ни с кем другим. Глобальные перемены, это когда уехала любимая подруга, особенно если это очень необычный, прекрасный и незабываемый человек, который заставлял тебя постоянно улыбатся и смеятся до смерти без причины

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Незабываемое..

Лишь совсем недавно я поняла одну очень важную вещь.. как важно ценить каждый прожитый момент с вашими родными и близкими людьми.
Ценить эти моменты, как будто из никогда больше не будет. Потому что одним днем из действительно может больше не быть.
А иногда, иногда этих моментов просто очень мало.. и хочется просто задохнутся от боли, которая переполняет внутри.. Я никогда  не могла спокойно переживать расстования, долгие разлуки и прощания.. Но в этот раз все как то еще тяжелее..
Хорошо конечно, что в сегодняешнем мире есть скайп, телефон, итд.. но это все равно никогда не заменит настоящего живого общения.
Сколько безсонных ночей, сколько движений сделаннах на любимой сцене в пирамиде.. сколько выпитых джеков с колой, порой вперемешку со всем остальным.. безсконечные шоты текилы, которые перестали восприниматся нашим здоровьем после отмечания восьмого марта..
Сколько слез было.. так же счастья и радости..
Наша любимая shortland street, наш юнилодж гребанный, и комнаты next to each other..
песня J Lo On the floor и нескончаемая ночь в sanctuary, где мы танцевали под нее как ненормальные..
П последний наш поход в клуб... We found love и слезы, слезы.. посреди танцпола...
Я не знаю, как все остальные вещи в этом году, но этот год проведенный с любимой Леркой был один из самых лучших в моей жизни!! Я знаю, чувствую, что очень многое изменилось за этот год.. Я пересматриваю фотографии, и с каждым днем, месяцем, мы как то менялись, что то менялось.. Я знаю, что этот год изменил меня. С какой-то стороны в хорошую, с какой-то стороны в плохую сторону...
Я знаю только одно, что такого человека как Лерка я еще не встречала... бывает встречаешь человека, и понимаешь, что он тебе уже родной.. так именно и было с ней.
И если бы можно было вернутся в тот 2009 год, когда мы с ней первый раз познакомились.. я бы готова была бы сделать все, чтобы заново пережить эти 2.5 года...

Люди всегда встречаются не просто так... и это правда. Встреча с некоторыми людьми порой очень круто могут изменить твою жизнь.Со мной именно это и произошло.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Trip to Rotorua, back to april 2011..

One of the best trips I have ever had, probably because I had a chance to get away from the city life with two of my favourite people.
I can't say this trip happened without any unusual things, because we definitely had some of those, eg. giving a visit to the spa after a huge consumption of alcohol, but that was definitely something to remember:)

Rotorua is my very special and favourite place in Nz. I have been there so many times, and every single time was very special. Too many moments I want to remember for my whole life did happen there.

This trip with Masha and Lera was in April 2011. But I will do this post just now, because Lera is leaving Nz permanently in 3 days and I am in  the mood to refresh my memory on what happened in Rotorua back those awesome days.

My awesome and favourite girlies, thanks for the best times we had this year!!
I know Masha will be here with me again after 2 months, and Lera, I know we will meet soon again, hopefully we will be less crazy and kind of grown-ups the next time we will go out with you! P.S - preferably somewhere in Spain. P.s - ILOVEYOU,MISSINGYOUALREADYBUB







































It's jsut seems that we did not have enought time together yet, you know...
And that is the saddest part of people's leaving..
I wish we could have so much more moments together...but, its life! And all we can do, is keep on moving on...