Sunday, May 4, 2014

Первая любовь- не насморк,она не проходит никогда...

На самом деле в этой жизни со временем забывается практически все, кроме самого важного и сердцу дорогого.. Того важного,что будет с вами всегда.. и было с вами всегда. И сколько бы лет не прошло, ты переодически ловишь себя на мысли, что не отпускает..Такой парадокс, что порой в жизни забыться может все,что было вот совсем недавно..Но то, что было так давно... не забывается ни на секунду. И тут то ты осознаешь, что именно то есть и было единственное важное и значимое в этой жизни, сколько бы времени не прошло.. То, самое настоящее..На подобное которому надеется уже и не приходится..
То, от чего не убежишь никуда, в какую бы далекую страну ты не уехал.


Monday, March 17, 2014

Есть все и ничего.

Самое страшное в жизни, это когда есть все, но чего-то не хватает...
Всю жизнь, с самого детства мне твердили, что самое важное это стать кем-то в этой жизни. Добиться высот, быть на пике карьерной лестнице, и постараться сделать все возможное, чтобы в этом мире ты что-то значил. С самого рождения мне папа твердил, что я добьюсь очень многого, что он верит в меня, что он знает, что я смогу, что я его единственная надежда. В те времена эти его слова во мне не вызывали ничего кроме как сожаления о том, что когда-то ему придется разочароваться. Я настолько была занята детскими-юношеским максимализмами в виде неразделенной любви и тому подобное, что великие будущие дела мне даже не представлялись возможными...

И вот. Спустя так сказать 6-10 лет...Я на пороге того, что я озабочена своей карьерой и великими делами больше чем чем-либо еще. Более того, это все чего я хочу, это самая важная цель моей жизни- стать сильной независимой великой женщиной, которая будет способна диктовать условия кому и когда захочет. Хорошее ли это желание? Я пожалуй затрудняюсь ответить на этот вопрос. Единственное что я знаю, это то, что я хочу больше всего на свете.

С моими желаниями и каким-то возвышенным отношением к жизни, мне приходится нелегко. Пытаясь стать великой, на своем пути я еще и ищу великого. Я как могу пытаюсь окружать себя людьми, которые могут невозможное, так сказать. Людьми, от которых мне есть чему поучиться.

Я порой, чаще всего, наверное не следую своему сердцу, следую голове.. Я в какой-то момент жизни разучилась полагаться на свое сердце, оно меня наверное часто подводило..Оно подводило.

Погружаясь в свое стремление к великому, я наверное скрываюсь и бегу от всего остального в этой жизни. Я бегу уже так долго, что забыла уже от чего. В какой момент это началось? Да пожалуй с самого детства, лет с 8ми как полюбила одного человека, больше всей жизни. Да, пожалуй, в тот момент я и перестала быть обычным человеком. Мысли начали быть слишком серьезными и запутанными для восьмилетнего ребенка; слезы слишком частые; депрессии постоянными. Я бежала и бежала, лишь только с короткими не особо удачными остановками по сей день.

Наверное, самое важное что я извлекла из своей потерянности и запутанности - это то, что никто не может тебе помочь, пока ты сам себе не поможешь...

Я медленно, но переодически отталкиваю от себя всех тех людей, которым до меня есть дело..про некоторых я бы даже сказала больше, не просто есть дело до меня, есть вся жизнь до меня.. Но этих людей я имею привычку отталкивать от себя, и не то, чтобы жалеть потом, но размышлять о том, а как могло бы все быть если бы я не оттолкнула этих людей?
Почему я это делаю? Я не знаю. Может потому что нет чувств, может по каким-то другим причинам, вроде своего упертого характера и вбитых в голову мыслей...
Оно и не важно почему и зачем.

Важно то, что очень важно быть уверенным в том, что однажды утром ты не проснешься, думая о том,что вокруг все не то, не то, не то....




Your soulmate is not someone that comes into your life peacefully. It is who comes to make you question things; who changes your reality; somebody who marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealised, but an ordinary person, who manages to revolutionise your world in a second...

  

Sunday, March 16, 2014

There are people in life you will always love. In some way. With all your heart. Even tho you can't be with them; near them; next to them.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Ukrainian Conflict

Fk US. Seriously. Just another situation US can't stay away from, needs to get involved in just about everything. That's probably one of those really rear occasions when Russian citizens actually support President Putin, because he is obviously doing the right thing.
While US can and do put their noses into about every countries business, they now tell Russia to back out from the country which we actually have lots to do with, considering all the history and all the ongoing business as well? Just sort your shit out first, learn some manners and put your head around the fact that you are the ones who are screwing all the countries one by one, by behaving like your opinion and opposition are highly needed there while it is not.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The one thing I can never forgive a man is his past. No matter how hard I've tried to convince myself that past is past - it does not help. I cannot forgive past love, past girlfriends, soul-mates, thousands of kisses with other one - I just cannot forgive that. I remember that, I imagine that, I cannot let go of that; especially if that past is the one I've gotten to witness to some extent. I am not used to be second one after someone else. And I don't want to be.

I hope one day I will meet a man, whom I'll be prepared to forgive everything that happened before me. But that man not on the horizon just yet. And to be honest, there is no certainty if he ever be.

Friday, February 14, 2014

These past two summers been an amazing time of my life. I could not be more grateful for meeting so many amazing people during these last two years. I am truthfully appreciating every moment of this beautiful life.
Learning how to be cold-hearted, strong and successfull during this last year was so hard. I had to give up many things and people in my life to focus on what I really want to be in my future. But no matter how hard it was, I got what I wanted and I fullfilled my dreams and goals.
This year I am for even bigger, better, and harder year. Why? Because hard is good. Being busy and tired, and sleepless is Ok at some point in life. I do this for my future. For my bright successfull future. I already see it. And I know I am gonna get it. Because I am ready for whatever impossible year this life prepared to me. Who better than me knows that impossible is always possible?
I like cherishing things with integrity, and I know that ambition is good. Being ambitions is my key to success.

Polina


Thursday, February 6, 2014

It's never late to post good news

I did it!! I have officially progressed to Part 2 law!! I probably have never been more happier! It is an incredible feeling to at last find exactly what I want to do in my life..This whole year I have been working so hard and dreaming about getting the best grades possible in my Part 1 of the law degree..And here I am,so relieved after finally achieving my goal..got the "A's" i've dreamt of but never really thought I am capable of.But turns out I am. I am so exited for the next best years to come at the law school and working even harder on what I love so much. Believe in yourself people, you can achieve everything you want to if you truly put your heart and love at what you do,and work hard day and night. An accomplishment that looked so impossible to me turned out not just fine but great,and to be honest that is a very little proud moment I have right now with myself!Believe in yourself,if you don't-who will? P.s- now my Instagram name can truly reflect where my future is.. #lovelawschool#bestgradesever"

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Where was I?

I now only very barely get to write to my blog since I have been so busy with many important little and big things in my life. Law is taking 99% of my time-but I do not complain, it is my first priority and love of my life. Other things like gym,family, rare socialising have taken the other 1% of my life. So yeah, very intense.

Find it so weird and hard not to find time for writing, because that's what I would always do as a way of expressing myself, a way of thinking inside myself. But trust me, once you get to real life, you will have to sacrifice many things you'd never though before you ever say goodbye to.
But summer is on its way and I am on my preparations to my last exam, so hopefully, there will be time soon. Which to be said, I will be spending with my family, in particular grandparents, uncle, and nephew that are coming to New Zealand for three months. I am so exited, I am just above the moon to be honest! I cannot wait for the 3rd of December, I just cannot wait!!!
Also moving the house is on agenda.. So this November have prepared busy times for me.

I will be ok tho, I love being busy!
Hope to come up with a nice entry to this blog very soonish
xx Polina 

Thursday, September 12, 2013

''Women that were born to DO Business''. Feminist side of my thinking..

I've always believed in a notion that some women were raised up to do business, rather than to be hold in a man's arms. You know what I mean?

Many women are just women. They are naive, very feminine, silly and foolish behaviour like, whole their life they are told that they just need to find a good man to care for them-and that's it-the mission completed. Why they have always been told that? Honestly, I can't imagine for whatsoever reason someone would bring up their daughter like that.

The world had changed a lot in the last hundred years. It is not good politics any more for more to be naive, silly, and just sit around doing nothing and waiting for that perfect good man. There ain't no way to be someone in this world this way.

I might sound feminist, well I don't care. In general women are the most strongest and wise creatures of the God in this world. And why in the world you be doubting that and dance around for a man, while not trying to become the greatest yourself? This world is full of possibilities, but only if you are searching for them. Only if you are desperate for them! You have to find those possibilities in every tiny thing! Because they truly are everywhere, if you believe in that.

Some women were just born for business, like myself. I always knew that I am a women who was born for business, rather than love. I am more successful at being tough, cold-hearted and neutral than at being a sweet girl with all those ''babe,babe, can't live without you''. It just has never been my thing really. Love is the last thing I think about in my life. It's just not on my agenda. At least, for another many years. Turning back to the business then..

The word ''business'' is not being considered in it's literal meaning by me here. It is actually really hard to describe what meaning of this word I have in my mind in this situation, but.. Women that was born for business is a woman that came to this world to created greatness. To believe that she can create greatness. And to work very hard to achieve this greatness.

See, there are many women in this world who are just women... But there are so not many of them, who do actually carry in themselves the true meaning of what's a real woman is..